Short Story - The Caged Bird Sings - Grant Eagar

 

 

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 To order my books:

 Angelica: The Princess and the Pig  

Henry and Sophie: A Steampunk Adventure 

Sheila the Vampire: Dancing with the Enemy 

Angelica tiptoed down the corridor of the English Castle. The maid stopped in front of the Queen’s quarters where a guard stood in front of the closed door. The guard, an overweight, middle-aged man stood at attention. Angelica curtsied and gave him a winning smile. “Good morning, Lyle, I hope you are well. You are smartly dressed today; I love your royal blue colors and noticed you shined your armor brightly.”

He warily eyed the girl. “This is how I look every day; now what do you want?”

“You wound me; if you must be aware, I have business with the queen, now may I pass.”

“You’re not going to fool me again. You will not be going inside, the queen specifically told me to keep you out.”

“You know they are deciding my fate. Would you be merciful and crack the door a few inches so I can hear.” The guard frowned and shook his head. She gave him her most pathetic look. “If your life was hanging in the balance, wouldn’t you want to know what was being said? He gave a deep sigh, shrugged, and took a step to the side. Angelica handed him the chamber pot she had been carrying and ignored his grimace. She lifted the latch and gently pushed on the door until it opened a few inches.

There stood the Queen, her daughter Hannah, and two ladies in waiting. The queen regarded the three girls dyed various shades of blue, head to toe. “Hannah, she is your maid; why do you want me to get involved? I have better things to do with my time.”

Hannah looked at her blue hands. “My ladies insisted that I bring this to you. What I suggested for punishment was not severe enough for them.”

The queen sighed and turned to the two ladies-in-waiting. “Considering what Angelica has done to you; what do you suggest I do with her?”

Louisa, the princess’s first lady gave the monarch a broad smile with her blue lips. “I think beheading Angelica would be a good start. I would be willing to carry the ax and offer a few chops.”

Angelica whispered to the guard, “When suggesting punishments for me she always recommends whipping, beheading is a nice change of pace.”

Claudia, the second lady, said, “I have an even better solution. Boiling in oil, have the oil slowly heated so she suffers for days if not weeks.”

The queen turned to the princess. “And what is the punishment you had suggested?”

Hannah, the princess, grinned. “I have an even worse torture for my maid. Force her to learn to dance. She hates dancing and the dance master is a fiend.”

The maid whispered to the guard. “It appears the princess is exceptionally hateful this morning: forcing me to dance. Normally she takes my side, she must be angry at me for dying her blue. How was I to know she would jump into the tub after her ladies-in-waiting had left it? I must plot my revenges better in the future. Once again, the cold jaws of justice bite my butt before I have an opportunity to enjoy a measure of satisfaction.”

The queen, a middle-aged monarch with fiery red hair, narrowed her eyes. “You two are in a vengeful mood today. I’m sorely tempted to do as you suggest, but I’ll show some mercy and limit Angelica’s punishment to three days in the birdcage. Hannah, we no longer have a dance master, so your suggestion is not an option.”

There were gasps from the ladies-in-waiting and a snort from Angelica. “Who’s there?” asked the queen.

The guard poked his head inside. “Sorry, Your Majesty, I ah-ah

“Slipped.” Whispered Angelica.

“I ah-ah slipped,” said Lyle.

“You better not be nodding off. You never know what kind of scoundrel will want to enter my chamber.” The queen waved him away.

Louisa frowned. “Is that all? Look at us. We are a joke. We have suffered terribly at her hands. I insist you do something more severe.”

“First you will not accept the princess’s judgment and now you choose to question the word of your queen? Do you want to join her in the cage? I would have been more severe with her, but seeing your bright blue faces made me laugh. If my daughter wasn’t blue, I would have chalked this up to your just desserts.” She turned and took her daughter’s arm, “Hannah, you’re the one who insisted Angelica become your maid. You knew what she was before you asked for her. Why do you continue to bring me these petty squabbles.”

“Petty squabbles? Mother, I am blue; what do you suggest I say? I have regretted taking her on as my maid a dozen times. Will this decision follow me around like a bad goose; constantly pecking my behind?”

The queen raised an eyebrow. “Hannah, do you want to let her go? I would be happy to oblige.”

Claudia, a plain, black-haired girl of twenty, clasped her hands together. “Your majesty, we can get rid of the little viper? That would be delightful.” She then turned to Princess Hannah, “Please say yes.”

The princess, a seventeen-year-old girl whose hair normally was the color of honey took a lock of her hair with her blue hand and regarded the different shades of blue. “Mayhap now would not be a good time to discuss Angelica’s fate. I’m in no state of mind to be making decisions regarding her.”

Louisa, a buck-toothed, mouse-haired girl of nineteen, brightened. “I think letting that little pest go is an excellent notion. Let Angelica return to her precious hills and the backward mountain folk. The castle is no place for the likes of her. Goodness yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes, run her off.”

Angelica whispered to Lyle, “Normally I discount Louisa’s words, but she is speaking like a wise sage today. A thousand times yes, let me go, I did not volunteer for this life, it was thrust upon me. I hoped my shenanigans would get me sacked, but so far, no such good fortune. Perhaps the blue dye will do the trick.”

Lyle thrust the chamber pot into Angelica’s hands. “If it had been up to me, you would have been boiled in blue dye, now off with you.”

 

#

 

The first day in the cage-

Angelica adjusted her position on the floor of the birdcage. The four-foot-high, gilded cage was suspended three feet off the ground. It was used to shame those who had incurred the displeasure of the queen and king. The cages lined a wall in the courtyard and as people entered the courtyard they would stop and torment the captives. This was the third time Angelica had been put in the cage in the past four months. The sixteen-year-old girl ran her hand through her coal-black hair and gazed out of the bars with her lavender eyes. Four other cages contained the unfortunate souls who had offended the royal family; They consisted of the jester who had told an offensive joke about the king’s unusually large backside. The cook had bragged about an extraordinary potato soup recipe that had made the queen’s stomach sick. A guard who had fallen asleep while on duty, would not have been caught if it had not been for his loud snoring. The former dance master who didn’t know how to dance. His defense, which was that a dance master doesn’t have to know how to dance, only know how to teach others how to dance; was not convincing. Since he could do neither.  

Several vendors sold rotten fruit and vegetables to passersby who threw them at the cages.  Louisa and Claudia, the princess’s ladies-in-waiting, stood a half dozen yards away behind a railing. They had purchased armfuls of rotten apples, tomatoes, squash, turnips, and rutabagas. They were heaving these at the princess’s maid.

Louisa smirked and heaved an apple. “You little troll, it’s good to see you getting your just desserts. Putting blue dye in our soap was unforgivable.”

Angelica reached through the bars, caught the apple, found a spot that was not rotten, and took a bite. She then threw it back at Louisa hitting her in the behind. She laughed. “Is that the best you cows can do? Who taught you how to throw? You should thank me; the dye has vastly improved your complexion. You no longer look like hairless rats.”

Claudia threw a rotten turnip at Angelica. “You little demon, this was worse than the time you put lobsters in our bath, or the time you put worms in our beauty cream or the time you put a pig in my bed.” She then heaved a large tomato that exploded when it hit the cage drenching Angelica with juice. The crowd applauded and Claudia turned to the vegetable man, “Do you have any more tomatoes, these are quite nice, especially the large soggy ones.”  

Angelica wiped the rotten tomato off her face and laughed. “Thanks for reminding me of happy times. Can’t you throw any harder? You couldn’t hit the broad side of Louisa’s behind.” She then turned her back to the throwers and waved her bottom back and forth. This encouraged much more throwing. If only I had not promised to never use my magic in spite. This would be a wonderful time for some mayhem. Why was I foolish enough to make such a promise to Granny? Notice to self, never make another promise.

Princess Hannah walked up, and everyone stopped throwing produce. “Don’t stop pelting the little weasel on my account.” They resumed their attack on Angelica. The princess purchased some rotten butter nut squash from the vendor. She commenced throwing them at Angelica. Unfortunately for Angelica, the princess’s aim and her throw were much better than her ladies'.

After she had exhausted her store of rotten produce, the princess approached Angelica. She reached through the bars, pinched her maid, and picked a cabbage leaf out of Angelica’s hair. “You’re so much trouble. Will there ever be peace with you around?”

“I’m sorry Princess, I didn’t think you would use Louisa’s soap.”

“Didn’t think? I’ve heard that refrain before. When do you ever think? Why should I be surprised that you would do such a thing?”

Angelica offered her most innocent look. “The thinking or putting dye in their soap?” The princess frowned and shook her head. Angelica gave her a broad smile and the corners of the princess’s mouth turned up. “That is better, you know that was funny, it was all a misunderstanding. I mixed up their soap with the dye, they were in similar containers, it was an honest mistake.”

The princess rolled her eyes. “The lies flow off your tongue. So, you have been practicing stretching the truth? Do I need to add lying to your list of transgressions?”

Angelica rubbed some tomato paste off her cheek and regarded her toes. “Ok, ok no need to be hateful. I confess I had had enough of your ladies’ cheekiness, and I was tired of them lording over me. It’s astounding how sweet the two imps can be when you’re about and how vicious they are when it’s only me.”

“After all you’ve done to those poor girls; you wonder why they treat you ill? You’ll get no sympathy from me.”

Angelica clasped her hands together. “Mayhap you could let me out of the cage a couple of days early. I’ve learned my lesson well and I’m deeply sorry for the pain I’ve caused, though the blue hair does give you a certain exotic charm.”

“Don’t even talk to me about getting out early, if I had my way, you’d be in there for a month.” Hannah’s face took on a pensive look, “there’s talk about releasing you from your commitment as a maid, that you’re more trouble than you’re worth. I was sorely tempted to sack you.”

Angelica perked up and pretended she had not been eavesdropping. “Really? You want to release me?” She had not wanted to be a maid, to begin with, and had only agreed to serve the princess after Hannah had asked for her. Unfortunately for Angelica, she had a soft spot for the princess.

The princess frowned. “Don’t act so darn happy. I haven’t made up my mind yet.”

“At least you are considering it, that is something. Princess, I would not complain one bit if you let me go; it’s the least of what I deserve. If I were you, I would march right up to your mother and tell her Angelica is a bad one, she must go.”

“But you are not me.” The princess frowned, “At times you are a bad one. I’m sorely tempted, but you’ll not be getting out of your duty so easily. After all you have done for me; I owe you a debt of gratitude. I will not repay it by letting you out of your duty.” She then turned and strode away.

Angelica watched the princess, and her ladies walk away and grinned as soon as they turned a corner. What a glorious day, justice is served. It was all worth it to see the ladies’ blue hair, though seeing the princess’s blue hair does cause me pangs of shame. This ongoing struggle with her ladies is beneath me; I’m better than that. I wish there was some way to patch things between us. We grew up together in the same parish after all. We were not friends, but acquaintances. She took a clump of rotten tomato out of her hair that Claudia had heaved, smelled it, and wrinkled up her nose. Mayhap a bit more payback is in order. If those two insist on lording over me there will be a battle. Ugh, what did Granny say, responding to nastiness with more nastiness does not make the world a better place, but it is so hard to resist.