Short Story - Fireflies - Grant Eagar
On Neighbors
The Fireflies
We remember when the kids were little and the times we would go on long Sunday walks. The kids would run about chasing fireflies
with their cousins and we felt like we were surrounded by angels. We had
dreams of their futures, what they would one day become. We had the
conviction that if we raised them the best we were able, everything would turn
out alright.
Fast forward twenty years - the
children have been bitten and infected by the demons of our day; alcoholism,
drug abuse, divorce, mental illness, and autism. We try to suck the venom from
their seeping wounds and love them the best we are able. Occasionally we roar
and yell at them, but that does not make the sickness and the pain go
away. Our dreams for them are replaced by their own dreams.
Considering that they must bear the consequences of their choices,
they must make those choices.
We are all broken - when we
were young, we were concerned with those who had failed us, but as we grow older,
we are now concerned with those whom we have failed. The price we must pay for
our own selfishness.
As the years go by, we adjust our attitudes and our
expectations. It is easy to love a child who makes all the right choices, but
one who tries our soul makes us dig down deep and find the best part of
ourselves. We learn much about what real love is all about. We cheer our
children on as they struggle through life and their joy is our joy and their
pain is our sorrow.
The grandkids come and we hug them, play ball with them,
play ring around the roses with them, tell them stories, and hold them.
For a moment we are young again surrounded by our little ones and we experience the
joy once again of raising little ones. We also now know some of the
pain and sorrow they will face in the years ahead and we are now hopefully
better able to help them with their demons when they come.
Then we smile - things are turning out, but just not how we
had planned.
Learning to let go of your expectations for your children and replace it with unconditional love and acceptance is the hardest thing I'm learning as a parent.
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