Short Story - Alien Abduction - Grant Eagar

To order my books:

 Angelica: The Princess and the Pig  

Henry and Sophie: A Steampunk Adventure 

Sheila the Vampire: Dancing with the Enemy

Alien Abduction

By Grant Eagar

Location: Military debriefing room, Conway Arkansas.

Alien specialist - Major Jones:




          “Mister Johnson, please tell me what you experienced on the night of June twenty-first, 2012.” 

Male witness #1 - Scooter Johnson:

            Pushing back his long greasy black hair, “Well sir, this is how the dealio went down. After leaving Harley’s barn, I popped a bud-err I popped a coke and climbed into my truck, ‘Big Red’. I turned on some tunes ‘Merl Haggard’, found a gear, pulled out onto highway nine, then I headed for Marcy’s place.

Coming over Possum Creek bridge, I saw it; a flying saucer hubcap-thingy with brightly colored lights. It was like some great big flying honky-tonk. It landed right dab in the middle of the highway forcing me to lock down Big Red. With tires squealing and rubber burning I barely stopped in time; luckily Big Red has brand new Super Bronco monster-tires.”

Scooter leaned over and spat tobacco juice into a garbage can then continued. “A door opens and a green fellar climbs out and points a lug wrench thingy at me, making me feel all mushy inside. The next thing I remember, I was flying around in this ship with hoses going into places they ought not of.” He then covers his lap with his hat and shuddered.

Female witness - Marcy:

            Wearing a tied dye tube top two sizes too small, and cutoff jeans three sizes too small. Marcy picks at a chigger bite on her bare leg, “Mister, I was waiting for Scooter to pick me up for our date; standing out front with the chickens and the dogs.  I’d had put on some fresh lipstick and even taken a bath, it being a special night and all. When I see a flying thingamabob coming out of the sky and it lands right in front of my trailer. I look at all the bright lights and I wonder if Scooter has gotten a fancy new car; when three green guys climb out. They looked kinda like a rock band; you know Twisted Sister or maybe Mega Death. They pointed some funny guitar looking things at me and I went all fluffy. Then I was aboard this ship and Scooter was there too. He’s so romantic, I would’ve never thought of being abducted by aliens for a date,” said, Marcy with sparkles in her eyes.

Male witness #2 - Stewart:

            Stewart sat in a dark corner wearing a black hooded jacket, large black sunglasses and spoke through a voice distorter, “I was listening to the AM station 450, underground radio, and sure enough one of those governments secret warnings came over. You know, three beeps followed by static then more beeps when the house shook. I ran outside and there was a flying saucer sitting in the middle of the damn road. I thought, it’s true they must have received my message. They were herding the neighbor girl and her boyfriend into their ship. I hope they weren’t searching for intelligent life because those two don’t qualify.”

      Now with a very disgusted look on his face, he added, “I ran up to the ship and yelled, take me too, but noooo they preferred the degenerates instead. I pounded on the outside of the ship yelling open up and it shocked me. When I woke up they were gone.”

Canine witness - Rufus:

            Rufus sat in a leather chair dressed in a tux jacket and shirt with a bowler hat on. He said, “I was in the back of William Scott Johnson's 1976 Ford light-duty truck, guarding his alcoholic refreshments. I had my tongue extended into the air stream to assist in the transfer of my thermal energy. When without warning William, known to you as Scooter, began a rapid deceleration of said truck. This caused my muzzle to impact the back window.” Rufus took a moment to lick his privates then continued. “William then climbed out of the vehicle and a Zortillian astronaut pointed a 1200 giga watt mind disrupter at him. I then leapt from said truck in defense of my companion and clamped down on the Zortillian’s lower appendage, whereupon I was exposed to the disruptor. When I awoke in a rather large canine home with clothes on, antae protruding from my cranium, and could speak twenty six languages including the Zortillian’s native tongue of French.”