My Brain Bleed - Grant Eagar

 

My Brain Bleed

 

 

 Sometimes we don’t realize all the sacrifices people make on our behalf. I’d like to tell you the story about my brain bleed. It all started eight years ago.  One day after dinner I had a terrible headache and my right arm was numb. I went to the emergency room and they took a CAT scan that showed I had a brain bleed. I had been having dizziness spells for several months. They had to remove part of my skull, about 3 inches in diameter to relieve the pressure. They replaced the portion of my skull that they had removed with a piece of plastic. Initially, I was not in my right mind. I thought I was fine, that there was some conspiracy to keep me in the hospital. I had shakes and double vision, and it was difficult to hold my head up. There was legitimate concern about whether I would recover. I was given numerous blessings. Then a miracle happened. I was referred to a specialist and transferred to Cedar Sinai Hospital, he had a different diagnosis and treatment. With this new treatment, slowly after several months, I became lucid again, and with physical therapy, I could walk.  

All through this time, my wife Becky would drive from Tehachapi to Los Angeles (two hours each way) three or four times a week accompanied by my autistic son Isaac who was going through a very difficult time. I had this sense that if I could just hold Becky’s hand, everything would be alright. My grasp on reality was a bit shaky and her hand was real. There was something magical about being connected to her. My brother Mark would fly in from Sacramento once every few weeks and he would read to me from Louis L'Amour western books. He brought coloring books for me to fill out. My sisters came from out of state to visit along with my older children. My kids helped with Isaac so Becky could visit more often. People from work visited me as well as people from my ward. The ward along with family fasted and prayed for me. Finally, after nine months I was able to return home; after a year and a half, I was able to go back to work. My fellow workers embraced me with open arms and I felt like angels surrounded me. I appreciate their patience in helping me get back up to speed.

 Looking back, I’m struck by all the love and concern from so many people. I had faith that I would get better. I felt there was a work for me to do. I didn't want to leave the burden of raising Isaac alone to Becky. I consider what she had to go through for me and I realize how fortunate I am to have her in my life. Occasionally we get on each other’s nerves then I remind myself of all that she has done for me and how wonderful it was to hold her hand. Now, every day I thank God for the gift of life. It’s not that I want to live forever; I just want to stay until my work is completed.